A Blog by Lotte Coombe-Perry

Wednesday 28 March 2018

A Daughter's Perspective, by Lotte Coombe-Perry

My father died, that I had no control over and those that know me, will know I like to have things organised and in a predictable fashion.

What I have some influence over, is the way in which I can respond to this event, what I take away from it and what I can learn from it.

My father’s death has taught me so much and so on the 1st anniversary I want to take the opportunity to draw attention to some of the amazing people that helped my family in such a sad and difficult time.

The wonderful individuals at The Shakespeare Hospice , Hospice At Home Service. Grops wished to die at home and the hospice helped us to honour his choice with care and compassion. These people provide 24 hour end of life care and they perform their important roles with such an amazing, tireless professionalism. They comfort and support in such a confusing time, allowing the family and patient the space, dignity and time they need, all hours of the day or night.

The Shakespeare Hospice, ECHOES, Children’s Bereavement Service.

I will never be able to thank these people enough for the love and support they have given to us a family. Their involvement meant the Beans could acknowledge and feel supported in their grief. The Beans have handled this whole experience with grace and wisdom and I know this is because of the important work that ECHOES do.

The hospice provides so many different aspects of support, both physical and psychological to families affected by life limiting illness and all free of charge.

Goodwins Funeral Directors: From the first call on the night Grops died, Goodwins were unfaultable. They handled every aspect with dignity, reverence and importance. I will never forget when they turned up at the house to collect Grops and the smile that Ray gave me when we both acknowledged each other. Ray may have recognised me from when I visited Goodwins yard with Grop’s, who knows for sure, but it was such a comfort to see a friendly face in that moment; Grops’s was going to be looked after by somebody he knew.

And finally I wish to share a book recommendation with you and to quote one of the Amazon reviews.

Confessions of a Funeral Director by Caleb Wilde.

"If you've ever wondered about the beauty that can be sought when the light of life goes out, the healing importance of ritual, and would like to encourage the normalisation of death and grieving, then you'll enjoy this book. If you haven't wondered, perhaps you should start?"

I stumbled across Caleb’s Confessions of a Funeral Director Facebook page and have found it such a source of humour, humility and wisdom.

This is not to assume everyone will have the same experience or feelings towards death but on this day I wanted to show my gratitude and acknowledge these individuals. Up until last March I was unaware of these people, and the work they do, work, which is so important but is often overlooked, unknown and not acknowledged until it is needed.


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